RESOURCES
Written and curated by MandyThroughout my career, I have found that there are some tried and true resources that can be beneficial in my clients’ mental health journey. This space is home to those assets, as well as some other writings and learnings that I have discovered along the way.
Please feel free to use these resources and reach out if you have any questions. If you’d like to receive these blogs and other helpful tips in your inbox, subscribe to The Grounding Guide.
*These resources should not be used as a replacement for virtual or in-person therapy, and represent a compliment to mental health services.
Eldest Daughter Syndrome: How Birth Order Can Shape Behaviors and Relationships
If you’re the eldest daughter, you may carry more than just the weight of responsibility. While not an official diagnosis, "Eldest Daughter Syndrome" is a term used to describe the unique challenges and experiences often faced by the oldest daughter. The role you took on within your family dynamic can influence patterns of behavior that extend far beyond childhood. If you notice yourself struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, or people-pleasing as an adult, it could be rooted in your experience as the eldest. Often, these roles are internalized, leaving you feeling like you must always be “on”—the fixer, caretaker, or the one in control—which can also influence how you approach your relationships.
Why People-Pleasers and Perfectionists Often Feel Anxious
If you have people-pleasing or perfectionist tendencies, you may frequently experience anxiety. This often happens because both people-pleasers and perfectionists worry about being seen as inadequate. The fear of criticism or rejection drives them to stick to what feels safe, work harder, and ignore their own needs—all in an effort to prove their worth and keep others happy. Understanding the connection between anxiety, people-pleasing, and perfectionism is crucial to breaking free from these patterns and living a more authentic, fulfilling life.
How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser
Most of us want to make others happy. Although this is a positive quality to have, overextending yourself in relationships can take a toll on your mental health and lead to people-pleasing. These behaviors can stem from a strong desire to seek approval and validation from others, often at the expense of your own needs, values, and well-being. If you’re a people-pleaser, you might go to great lengths to make others happy, avoid conflict, and seek constant approval, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. With practice, you can break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and reclaim your autonomy.