How to Improve Your Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is formed at a young age and shaped by various factors. Feelings of negative self-worth and personal value can lead to persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, shame or guilt. It’s normal for your self-esteem to shift; however, if you notice it impacting your overall well-being it might be a sign to seek support.
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is how you evaluate your own worth and value. It involves the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings you have about yourself. It can be influenced by various factors, including personal achievements, relationships, and cultural or societal expectations. Self-esteem plays a significant role in mental and emotional well-being, affecting how you approach and navigate life's challenges, pursue goals, and maintain healthy relationships.
Signs of Low Self- Esteem can include:
Negative self-talk: Constantly criticizing yourself, focusing on perceived flaws, and engaging in negative self-talk can be an indicator of low self-esteem.
Feelings of worthlessness: Having a pervasive sense of not being good enough, feeling undeserving, or believing that you lack value.
Fear of rejection: Having a fear of being rejected, judged, or not accepted by others may lead you to avoid social situations or seek excessive approval from others.
Perfectionism: Striving for unrealistic standards and fearing failure can lead to chronic dissatisfaction with your achievements.
Avoidance: You may avoid taking on new challenges or setting ambitious goals due to a fear of failure or a lack of confidence in your abilities.
Social withdrawal: Feeling unworthy or fearing judgment can lead to social withdrawal and isolation as a way to protect yourself from potential rejection.
Difficulty accepting compliments: You may struggle to accept compliments or positive feedback and dismiss or downplay your accomplishments.
Comparison to others: Constantly comparing yourself to others can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and inferiority.
Anxiety and depressed mood: Low self-esteem is closely linked to mental health concerns such as depression and anxiety. Persistent negative self-perceptions can contribute to a cycle of negative emotions and behaviors.
Strategies to Improve Your Self-Esteem
Improving your self-esteem can take time and practice, so remember to be gentle with yourself. If you don’t know where to start, here are some helpful strategies to support you with the process:
Validate your own emotions: Writing down your thoughts and emotions can help you be more mindful of them. Journaling also helps you better understand the negative beliefs you may hold about yourself so you can start challenging them.
Allow yourself to make mistakes: Practice viewing mistakes as a necessary part of learning that provide opportunities for growth. Reflect on what you've learned and how you can improve in the future.
Stop comparing yourself to others: Instead of focusing on where you are compared to others, try to focus on your own progress. Also, be mindful of your social media usage and if it triggers comparisons.
Practice accepting compliments: When someone praises you, acknowledge and appreciate their kind words. Resist the urge to downplay your success and achievements.
Surround yourself with positivity: Spend time with people who uplift and support you. If you notice certain relationships bring you down, practice setting boundaries with them or consider taking space. It can also be a natural time to evaluate your relationships with others.
Speak kindly to yourself: When you engage in negative self-talk, you’re not giving yourself the grace and care that we would give to others. The next time you realize you’re talking down to yourself, ask “Would I say this to someone I care about?”
Identify your strengths: Reflect on your own strengths, accomplishments, and positive qualities. Keep track of your achievements and revisit them when you are feeling stuck.
If left untreated, having a low self-esteem can become a long-term issue which can impact your mental health and everyday life. If you are having difficulty knowing where to start, below are a list of self-esteem related questions that can support you with identifying specific areas to guide next steps with treatment. While these resources are helpful to start with, they should not take the place of an official assessment with a licensed clinician.
Do you have a hard time nurturing yourself?
Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others?
Do you feel like you need approval from others to support your self-worth?
Do you engage in negative self-talk or criticize yourself often?
Do you feel undeserving?
Do you minimize your accomplishments and magnify your deficiencies?
If you’re interested in starting therapy for self-esteem concerns, I am here to answer any questions you might have to ease the process. You can reach me at (410) 936-4096 or via email: mandy@mindfultherapycollective.com.
Please note: This blog post is intended for educational purposes and is meant to complement mental health services. It is not a substitute for therapy.